Tabloid

All information on these events can be found here. 

 September 19-25, 2010 

 Alfred F. Jones

''He likes to 'sleep with the fishes'. And by that, I'm talking literally.''

''Alfred is a fat pig who eats too much. :U''

ALFRED IS WHITE AND NERDY.

I swear I saw Alfred stealing from the supermarket...

Alfred is so obsessed with being a superhero that he literally goes emo if someone lands a superhero part in movies.

''He insists often that his ideal girlfriend would either have to be Wonderwoman or be named Lois Lane. Yeah, he's thaaaat picky. 8I''

Alfred is capable of eating so much junk food because it's his compensation for the fact he sucks at acting.

He wears underwear on the outside when out on dates.

''Alfred is a loyally devoted fag member of Scientology. He hopes to convert more members right away! 8D''

Alfred F. Jones is sleeping with Adele Prideux Laurent, he promised he'd help her get a music deal - that's why her new CD's coming out soon.

Alfred F. Jones is bulimic, that's why he doesn't gain weight even though he eats a ton of burgers.

Alfred is a tard.

Alfred suffers from an unnamed mental disorder, and has managed to convince himself that he's president due to it.

<p style="text-align:center">''Alfred touched his mother. More than once, too.''

<p style="text-align:center">Al is gayer than the 4th of July.

<p style="text-align:center">Alfred invented the vuvuzuela.

<p style="text-align:center">Alfred pushed Mufasa.

<p style="text-align:center">It was Alfred in the Ballroom with the Candlestick.

<p style="text-align:center">Alfred eats rainbows and poops butterflies.

<p style="text-align:center">''Alfred has an epic crush on Justin Bieber, regardless of their age difference, and will do anything to get in Justin's pants. Alfred also says lewd things about the Bieber kid, saying he likes them 'young and subtle', as well as 'tight'.''

<p style="text-align:center">_____________________________

<p style="text-align:center"> Antonio Fernandez Carriedo

<p style="text-align:center">HE'S GAY.

<p style="text-align:center">''Antonio is a pedophile. but we all knew that ''

<p style="text-align:center">''Antonio Fernandez Carriedo has a questionable relationship with Francis Bonnefoy and Camille Peralta i Marquès... together. At the same time.''

<p style="text-align:center">Antonio Fernandez Carriedo sleeps with producers to get his clients jobs.

<p style="text-align:center">Antonio lures little children with his pet turtles.

<p style="text-align:center">He gave his pet turtles (the evidence) away to Alfred F. Jones so he can escape to Hawaii with his crew and not be charged for such questionable actions.

<p style="text-align:center">''This loser is actually really dirt poor and can't do anything. Because he's stupid.''

<p style="text-align:center">Antonio has a TURTLE FETISH.

<p style="text-align:center">Toni has abandonment issues; he's convinced that his turtles are his family.

<p style="text-align:center">''Antonio is a woman. Francis is pleased about this ''

<p style="text-align:center">''Mr. Carriedo is quite actually a creep. A very. Very. Creepy. Creep. -shudder-''

<p style="text-align:center">_____________________________

<p style="text-align:center"> Heracles Karpusi

<p style="text-align:center">The reason Heracles Karpusi looks so tired all the time is because he gets drunk every night and is hungover every day.

<p style="text-align:center">Heracles Karpusi has narcolepsy along with other health problems, and will die within the year.

<p style="text-align:center">''Do you have a comfy bed? Then I suggest you lock your door because Heracles Karpusi WILL break into your house and he WILL sleep in your bed.''

<p style="text-align:center">''Heracles and his band mate, Vash, are a little more than just friends. The two are really lovers and enjoy hot, kinky sex quite often, which is why Vash is cranky and Heracles always tired.''

<p style="text-align:center">Heracles is sleeping with a minor....and not in the innocent way, either.